The anxiety of riding

I first got on a road bike a couple of years ago and felt very insecure on it. Riding with other cars, falling off onto a concrete path etc. it went back on the stand and collected dust. Spurred on by my husbands love of cycling and him taking on cycling challenges (and me gaining 15kgs as a spectator) I joined two other friends in a quest to start a riding group for those just wanting to get confidence on a bike. After a couple of weeks it became very apparent that the other two were well above my riding pace and fitness - and once again I had massive anxiety about myself and how useless I was with sport and fitness (a childhood trauma belonging to a family of athletes and the expectations around that - all those scarred memories come flooding back). There were many tears and reflection around this. I did a couple of rides by myself and my last ride I asked the group to leave me behind and I just rode for me without the guilt of hindering other peoples progress. We all met for coffee at the end and this was one of best rides ever. I joined this challenge to keep me accountable to continue to get on the bike and not make excuses. I also have two grown children who fortunately did not suffer cancer, but any mum feels compassion for those who have to deal with this ugly disease and no parent should lose a child if there is a cure to be found.